Evidence Needed
by gossamer moonglow
Summary: In the aftermath of da/dt one agent's reaction comes as a surprise to his team. The brutal murders of two Navy Officers bring traumatic experiences in the surface. Gibbs/McGee pre-slash, hints of DiNozzo/David
1. Chapter 1

**_Warming: Some chapters contain child abuse._**

_Disclaimer: I don't own the show or the characters and I earn no money of this story of fiction._

_Written inspired by the NFA challenge No More DADT  
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><p>Gibbs was coming down the stairs from the Director's Office when he heard the conversation between his agents and of course, it was Tony who took the lead.<p>

"Don't ask don't tell is history then…. Hm what do you think, Probie?"

"I don't." Tim didn't even look up from his computer screen as he gave the muffled vague response which didn't really answer the question posed.

"You don't what?" Ziva asked.

"I don't have an opinion. Or rather I have one but want to keep to myself, if that's alright with you." The answer to her question was absent as Tim tried to finish the work that he was doing.

Gibbs was not sure what to think about that particular answer. When he was young, times were different. They were brought up to think differently and unless someone was indeed homosexual or attracted to both sexes, they tended to stay out of conversations of the kind. Then there were those who could go as far as attack, brutally more often than not, and call homosexuals sick, if not worse. Tim had never done that in the past and Gibbs had caught both Tim and Tony verbally fooling around about that situation, but this time, Tim seemed to be feeling bad about the conversation and for whatever reason, wanted to step back from it.

He didn't have the time to think more about the young man's reaction when Tony saw him.

"How about you, Boss?"

"What DiNozzo?"

"What do you think about gays in the Army?"

"Some are fine good fighters DiNozzo." Green eyes looked at him and he could see the confusion that reined in them. Once again, he couldn't follow through his musings because his mobile rang and disrupted his thoughts.

"Grab your gear." He said as he hung up and shook his head slightly. This case was really close to the conversation they had just had and he thought it was a weird coincidence that it had come up now.

And it was apparently because some people had taken the new law even worse than Timothy McGee had. Gibbs cynically wondered how many men were used in order to beat to death and more or less to brutalize two tall, well built and fit men like their victims were.

He glanced at Jimmy who was standing behind Ducky, clearly not certain if he should stay and watch or go and throw up. Seeing someone as used to death as he was looking green, brought home how severe this really was. Despite this, Mr. Palmer remained stoically behind his supervisor as one of his men left the crime scene quickly. His fast footsteps echoing loudly as he went.

Gibbs barked orders to the remaining members of his team and followed McGee outside, only to almost stumble upon him as he was on his way back looking dreadfully pale, but more composed than before.

"Take photos McGee!' He said instead of asking what was wrong or demanding an explanation.

'Right away Boss." Tim mumbled and left him standing in the doorway alone thinking about the crime scene. Gibbs didn't like where this was heading. Some strong red-necked/hot headed idiots made martyrs of the gay community. Human rights activists, the whole community and those who were seeing homosexuality in the same way as heterosexuality would find a cause to fight back and they would have a good point to. Hell, he was ready to talk about basic human rights himself.

Tony stood behind him, more or less the same way Jimmy had hovered behind Ducky earlier.

"What DiNozzo?" Gibbs stated firmly as he turned round.

"We found some tapes…" His agent said quietly.

"Send them to evidence. One of you will be watching them later. Any particular reason you're telling me that?"

"Well yeah Boss. Probie doesn't look so good."

"And you care about it because…?" Tony took a step back scratching his head while looking Gibbs in the eyes.

"Just telling you Boss."

Tony didn't know when he had started worrying about taking his teasing too far with McGee but sometimes he felt Gibbs' glare burning holes in his head and immediately stopped. In a sense, it was weird and it drove him crazy because he couldn't put his finger on the reason why.

Still, he had his Boss' approval to torment his Probie this time. With a smirk that really shouldn't be there considering the state they had found their victims, Tony returned to the crime scene only to find Tim gone.

"Where's McGoofy?" He asked as he looked around before turning back to Ziva who looked up at him from where she was sitting.

"Ducky and Jimmy left and Ducky wanted McGee's assistance with something. Why?"

Tony kneeled down next to her and leaned in so he could talk more privately. 'Did you notice anything strange with him?'

"No!"

"Ziva…" Her hand covered his and he found himself thankful that it was clean and there was no blood covering it.

"Tony, sometimes you just have to know _whe__n_ to shut up and if you behave, there will be a reward." Tony cocked his head and narrowed his eyes suspiciously but all he gleamed from Ziva, was a tight smirk before she turned and went about processing the crime scene.

Three hours later, they were back at their desks and the atmosphere in their small section of the office was surreal. Tony and Ziva sharing glances with Gibbs glaring at all of them. Tim was checking his notes and watching the photos on the big plasma wondering if they missed anything of importance that would help them crack this case wide open. With a sigh, Gibbs stood up and left them on their own so he could head down to the autopsy lab.

"Ducky, what have you got for me?" He declared as he walked through the pressurised doors.

"Hm if these young men were killed for their sexual preferences, I have to admit their killers had a strange way of showing their adversity to their way of living… and loving." The Doctor was angry and looked tired.

Gibbs moved over to where Gibbs was standing, both looking at the victims and their broken bodies. He glanced at Ducky's sad eyes and then back seeing exactly what had made his usually stoic ME lose all colour…

"Find them Jethro."

Gibbs' foul mood was obvious as he stormed back into the squad room.

"Anything new on the case? Which one of you watched the tapes?" The three members of the MRCT sat there and stared briefly at the other without answering the question. Gibbs glared at his team as they all sat there dumbstruck.

"DiNozzo, you're with me. McGee go to one of the conference rooms and watch the tapes…"

"But Boss…" Tim tried to argue but was cut off by his boss' barked command.

"Now McGee! Ziva, call the neighbours see what you can find." Gibbs was surprised that Tim didn't actually follow his orders and followed him out to corner him in the hall. He threw the keys to Tony and looked his senior agent dead in the eyes.

"Take the stairs." He pulled Tim to the elevator and hit the stop button, noticing how hard Tim was breathing.

"McGee I don't know what's wrong with you, but you'll watch these tapes and see if you can find anything of importance." Tim looked down trying to conceal what Gibbs took as embarrassment. The big surprise would be that Tim proved him wrong and it was in fact anger that radiated from the young man.

"But Boss, what's there of importance?" He intoned the last word just like Gibbs had done.

"That's for you to find McGee!" He re started the elevator without waiting for an answer.

"Why don't you ask Abby to do it?" It wasn't like McGee to question his orders but Gibbs had no time to investigate what was going on inside the young man's head.

"Because I'm asking you McGee!"

"But there're two men recording their…" Gibbs once again stopped the lift and turned sharply to face Tim.

"Private times? Yes McGee I know, but maybe you'll see something more; Something else besides two people having sex." At his Boss' last words, the green eyes turned away and looked everywhere except at Gibbs. "Is it really that difficult McGee?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"… it's wrong!" Tim admitted and huffed.

"What's wrong?"

"What these men do… did." Gibbs had the first good look on his agent and his stare turned angry at Tim's words.

"Do you think they deserved to die because they were sleeping together McGee?" He had started his question angrily but the last words tapered off so that they were said more quietly. He wanted to understand and Tim's wide, open look of wariness didn't help.

"What? No, Boss of course not! But this doesn't make it any better… or right!" He finally said an indignant look on the youthful face.

'Ok McGee. Do your job… don't make me ask again.' Gibbs didn't even want to grace that statement with an answer and so decided to order his Agent to do what he should already be doing...his job.

"Yes Boss" The elevator doors opened and Tim both men walked out Gibbs walking towards the car, while the younger man took the stairs back up so he could clear his head.

Tim closed and locked the door behind him as he walked into the conference room. Why was he the one to do this? Why had his Boss asked him? Abby would love to do it, that was something he was certain of. Her open mindedness was one of the reasons they hadn't stayed together. Tim was traditional but Abby wasn't! Tim wanted her for himself, just for himself. Abby didn't really care about sharing, didn't really believe they could make it happen.

He sighed. Gibbs should have asked Abby to watch these tapes.

He turned the dvd player on and sat down with his notepad to watch the films from the dead couple in autopsy.

…

Gibbs tried to enter the conference room and frowned when he found the door locked. They'd got back a short while ago and he had been surprised to hear that Tim hadn't surfaced from the job that he'd been given.

"McGee open up!"

"Right away Boss." Came the uneasy reply and seconds later he heard the lock turning before coming face to face with a blushing McGee.

"Did you find anything?"

"Not yet." Gibbs saw the tapes on top of the table and the TV frozen.

"How many have you watched?" he asked warily as he looked over Tim's shoulder.

"Just this one!"

Gibbs was furious. "McGee I told you to be quick and efficient. What exactly didn't you understand? Soon every organization for homosexual's rights will be on us and we'll have nothing to show them!"

"Well, Boss then maybe you should have ordered someone else to watch these!"

McGee said and stormed out of the room, Gibbs' gaze locked onto the screen that showed the two victims kissing naked on their bed sheets. He took out his cell phone and hit speed dial.

"Abs, room seven. Now!" he barked before hanging up. Abby turned up 5 minutes later with a bounce in her step and listened as Gibbs told her what he wanted her to do. He left her with his other two agents to watch and keep notes while he headed down to Ducky. He already had an idea about who their culprits were after talking to the immediate subordinates of their victims, but he needed evidence because without that, it wouldn't hold up in court.

Ducky looked up from his computer sensing Gibbs coming in.

"Jethro, to what do I owe the honour of having you here? There isn't a new case is there?"

"No!" Gibbs said walking back and forth in the large room while his older friend was watching him waiting for an indication of what had agitated Gibbs.

"Anything you want to share?" Ducky asked as he watched Gibbs pace.

"Did you notice anything wrong?"

"As a matter of fact Mr. Palmer is looking a bit under the weather lately. I wonder when was the last time he took some days off. That young man needs a little rest."

"I'm not talking about Palmer, Duck." Gibbs snapped out.

"And how could I know that if you don't say Jethro?"

"It's about McGee." Ducky said nothing. "There's something I just don't get about the kid." Ducky stayed where he was listening to Gibbs and decided that staying silent while his friend got everything off his chest was the best course of action.

"He behaves weirdly during the investigation… are you listening?"

"Yes, I am and… you're probably right but I just can't say." Ducky admitted as he took off his glasses and cleaned them on his handkerchief.

"You can't say? So you know…"

"I know more than you… apparently, but it's really not what you want to know.' The M.E replaced his glasses and sighed heavily knowing that he'd said too much and that his friend would want to know.

'How do you know?" Gibbs asked the question that Ducky knew was coming and Ducky couldn't help but shake his head as he answered.

"The doctor- patient confidentiality, Jethro. I won't break it even for you and your worries."

"I don't worry. It's just…"

"You can't even admit you're worried about Timothy and at the same time you expect him to tell you everything." Ducky interrupted, cutting Gibbs dead mid speech.

"My team cannot work otherwise Ducky." Gibbs' familiar stance of attack and defence was in place though the glare didn't touch Ducky anymore and he barely flinched.

"If your team, not to mention you, can only work that way, then you all work hypocritically, you all keep something inside and one day it's going to blow in your faces. If today's the day, then so be it. Otherwise, despite your good results, I'm not sure it's worthy." The vehemence in Ducky's voice was a rare thing and even Gibbs found it hard not to be slightly taken back by it.

"What do you mean Ducky? McGee couldn't do his work today and we lost valuable time because…" Ducky's blue eyes threw daggers at his friend as he interrupted him.

"What was his _**work**_?" The M.E. spat out.

"Watch the video tapes." The ME rolled his eyes at Gibbs answer.

"I think he had told you he couldn't do it and still you pushed it on to him."

"It's not the lottery Duck, so they don't get to choose their numbers. Our job saves innocents. Lives depend on how fast or slow we are. It's not that he couldn't do it; he didn't want to."

"Apparently he couldn't and I don't understand it Jethro. There's a story running around in the bullpen about a team leader climbing up a ladder to take photos because his agent was afraid of heights." He looked sharply at the younger man. "There's something else that bothers you and it has nothing to do with Timothy not doing his job but not doing this particularly job." Gibbs sighed and Ducky took a sip from his tea enjoying the strong, subtle taste of it.

"McGee's homophobic." Ducky spluttered the tea all over them. He gave Gibbs paper towels to dry himself off, offering his apologies as he took a couple for himself. Jimmy appeared in the doorway.

"Ummm… hello Agent Gibbs, I didn't know you were here. Dr Mallard I'm leaving now. See you later. Agent Gibbs." Gibbs nodded not paying attention to the young man.

"Bye Mr. Palmer." Ducky poured hot water inside a clean cup and dropped the tea back watching the water changing colour. "So, you say Timothy's homophobic…" He said conversationally after making sure the door was properly closed.

"Yes."

"Does the fact compromise his job?"

"No! No I don't think so. Except for today…"

"Then what's the problem?" Ducky went closer to Gibbs. "You need to clear your own f… hm what is your problem Jethro and why you're really angry with Timothy…" Gibbs denied being angry but Ducky cut him off.

"And then you have a talk with him about him and his life." Gibbs knew when there was nothing more to say so he turned around to live when Ducky spoke.

"And despite Timothy's many phobias I don't think he's homophobic per se."


	2. Chapter 2

"DiNozzo, you seem quite pleased with something today? Care to share with the rest of us?" Tony shared a smirk with Ziva and looked at their esteemed leader.

'Nothing Boss. Can't say really. I do like my job.'

'You mean you'll lose your job if you… never mind. I don't want to hear.' Gibbs glared at both Tony and Ziva having a pretty good idea of what was going on.

He knew; how could he not know? But if he said it then it would be out in the open light and he'd have to take some actions against his rule-breaking agents. Additionally it was the first time he was seeing Tony and Ziva so open, happy even, playful in the good sense of the word.

But where was McGee?

Abby's heavy footsteps were heard in the absolute silence that had followed his query. She marched to his desk, a determined look in her face. 'Where's McGee, Gibbs?' Her eyes narrowed as her gaze traveled towards Tony and Ziva; and then widened with glee.

'NO!' She shouted and Gibbs closed his eyes. _So much for keeping a secret_! 'No, no, no, yes! Finally! Gibbs, some of your rules are really crap, just so you know!'

'Abs…' he warned but of course she didn't care.

'Not that they aren't sensible, all of them. But still…' She ran to Ziva and hugged her whispering something in her ear and Ziva "thumped up" at her glancing at Tony.

'Great! Great!' She moved over to him and offered another of her legendary hugs.

'Abby, is there a reason you're here? Or did you just miss us?' Gibbs felt his irritation growing to new levels.

'Yes Gibbs! There is a reason….' She trailed off. 'That I don't remember at the moment.' She turned to Ziva again. 'I won't wear pink though…' she shuddered at the thought and the other woman giggled at her expression.

'Abby, leave Ziva alone and let's all pretend this never happened.'

Even though, they all knew it had happened.

'Thanks Boss.'

'Don't push it DiNozzo!'

They had his approval. It was enough for now.

'Can I date Timmy now?' Abby cheekily asked.

'No!' Gibbs instantly answered to be rewarded by Abby's pouting. 'Where is he by the way?'

'Oh Boy, McMissing's going to have it bad. Boss will kill him if he gets his hands on him.' Was Tony's whispered and lame attempt to lighten up the mood? Gibbs' glare indicated that he hadn't done a very good job at whispering.

'That's why I'm here! I need Timmy's expertise!' Abby said.

But it was apparent that no one had an answer for that particular question.

'I keep calling him but can't find him.'

'As I heard you're talking about Agent McGee. I may be of assistance as far as Agent McGee's whereabouts are concerned.' Vance said as he came down while their worry increased. 'He has contacted me and I gave him the rest of the week off. Doctor Jones sighed for three days off and then at least a week of desk duty due to his recent injuries.'

'But Timmy never gets days off…'

'Why wasn't I informed?' Gibbs asked over Abby's matter-of-fact statement.

'I think there must be a notice on your desk and I'm pretty certain Agent McGee has sent you an email.' Vance said to his agitated agent and returned to the safety of his office. He had been ready to give Gibbs some advice but he held his tongue just in time, at the very last second. It would have been juvenile and Gibbs was really not a teenager. _Was he?_

Just as Vance left Gibbs checked his emails and he was not impressed to see that he did indeed have an email sent by his missing agent telling him he'd be back on Monday morning.

'Back to work.' He ordered Tony and Ziva, while Abby silently –for once- disappeared.

Gibbs tried to keep his mind off McGee all day, but during his last visit to his favourite coffee shop his memory replayed his last conversation with Ducky about Tim two days before. Gibbs had without a doubt been angry at Tim. And the anger had started seething when Gibbs had overheard his Agents' discussion about the DADT law.

He was certain about one thing.

He didn't want McGee to be one of those homophobic people who took joy in making their feelings public.

Why?

He took a sip from his hot coffee contemplating. McGee's feelings were always obvious on his face. Just like this time. He didn't hate; he just…

_'Why?'_

_'… it's wrong!'_

_'What's wrong?'_

_'What these men do… did.'_

Gibbs didn't know what to assume about McGee but Ducky was right. He had to examine his feelings first. And he knew himself well and had stopped lying to himself a long time ago.

He fished his mobile from his jacket pocket and speed dialled Tim's number.

'Yes, Boss?' Tim's voice was subdued.

'Come by my place at 20:00.'

'Why?' Fear added in wariness.

'Just do it Tim, We need to talk. Don't let me wait.'

'OK.'

Gibbs did not know that Tim worried himself sick for the rest of the day and alongside his injuries it was not positive for his health.

Gibbs checked his watch to see it was 19:56 when he heard a car stopping. He climbed upstairs and waited for McGee to come in. He was surprised to see the young man looking paler and more tired than he had in years.

'I thought you had taken the days off to rest.' He said instead of greeting.

'Well your call earlier took all thought of sleep away Boss.' Tim's snarky comment didn't go unnoticed by Gibbs who frowned at his young agent and held the door open.

'Come inside.'

He pulled McGee in the kitchen and made him sit on a chair.

'Have you eaten?'

'Yes.' It came more as a question than an answer.

'When?'

'Ummm sometime this morning?'

'Are you asking _**me**_ McGee? What did you eat?'

'Cereal.'

'You're joking.' The not quite looking at him blushing face of the younger man showed that he wasn't joking.

He opened the microwave to take out the Chinese food he had bought on his way home and divided it in equal shares. He gently pushed one plate in front of Tim giving him a set of chopsticks as well.

'Eat.'

'It's your food.' Tim protested half-heartedly.

'I bought enough for two.' Gibbs replied firmly.

'Ummm thanks Boss.'

They ate in uncomfortable silence that Gibbs broke.

'I thought it was Juliard.'

_Petty Officer Jonathan Juliard had been Gibbs' basic suspect for the murders. He hadn't seemed to be overly upset about the whole case. When his fingerprints were found at the crime scene Gibbs and Tim had gone to question him where they met his fiancé, Jasmine Clarks who was a secretary in the Naval Personnel._

_Upon their return to the Navy Yard, Tim searched into her background and learnt she used to have an affair with one of the two victims. A better examination of the evidence showed that she had been at the crime scene as well._

_Gibbs had taken Tim and Tony with him for the arrest. When Jasmine opened the door and saw them she tried to a run for it but Gibbs stopped her. When they thought they had everything under control Juliard and another man, who turned out to be Jasmine's brother, appeared out of nowhere. Tony was hit with the butt of a gun in the back of his head but Tim tried to stop them just as Gibbs secured their suspect._

_By the time he turned to Tim one of the men was laying on the ground injured but not dead and Tim was holding the other one down, blood running from a corner of his lips. Gibbs checked on Tony who had not been seriously hurt and took the others in custody._

_He turned around to see Tim sitting down, head resting on his hands breathing hard. He reached out his hand to pull him up._

_'Hey McGee, you OK?'_

_'Sure Boss.' His first attempt to get up was fruitless. So was the second. Gibbs squatted down to take a better look._

_'Where were you hit?'_

_'He kicked me in the stomach. It feels….bad.'_

_'DiNozzo! Call an ambulance. Stay right were you are McGee!'_

And there they were, Gibbs eating, Tim playing with the food, Gibbs staring the bruised face, Tim ignoring him.

'We need to talk.'

'That's what you said.'

'You disobeyed me and you gave no reason.' Tim left the chopsticks on the plate.

'Don't think I can do this.' He got up and started walking. 'Why are you taking this matter that easy? Two men together? That's wrong Boss. It's just wrong!' He said, his eyes were pleading with Gibbs to confirm his words.

'Does it disgust you?'

'Of course! Shouldn't it? Doesn't it disgust you?' He asked certain Gibbs would agree.

'Not really.'

'What?'

'You heard me, Tim. It doesn't disgust me.' Gibbs watched closely as a mask covered the usually open features of Tim's face. 'McGee?'

'I don't believe you.'

'Why not?'

'Because it's wrong.' Gibbs took some steps closer to him and stood right in front of him not quite touching but close.

'Do you believe that?'

'Yes!' Tim replied vehemently.

'Why? A scientist like yourself who sees so many things every day knows that love is love. People should accept it in every way the find it.' Gibbs had always kept some ideas to himself but this time the crushed, young face in front of him made him want to talk. It made him want to show, to prove to Tim that it wasn't wrong. Suddenly what he felt was more intense than anything else in a very long time and it was that moment Gibbs knew what Ducky had meant. He wanted Tim; his body wanted McGee.


	3. Chapter 3

There was no mistaking Gibbs' look and Tim was many things, idiot was never one of those, a little naïve maybe but not stupid. However, Gibbs' face was like a book open for reading and the younger agent was an avid reader of Gibbs' facial expressions. It had become a habit of his from the early days to watch Gibbs' face just to be able to hide when things went from bad to worse. And this time Gibbs' face was closer to him than ever before. Despite his obfuscation as far as his reasons behind his ability to need to know what was hidden behind every expression, every smirk or glare Gibbs had ever given him what he saw now scared him… and made him shiver. It both pulled at him and pushed him away, as far away as possible, at the same time.

Tim had never in his life trusted lust. It came but it never stayed. Seeing lust inside Gibbs' eyes pained and broke that part of his heart and mind that had thrived in the belief that it was _**wrong**_.

Just like Tim, Gibbs could clearly see the battle inside the green eyes. When the winner was declared –and it wasn't his bet- he grabbed Tim by the elbows and pulled him close to his body.

Heated breath ghosted over Tim's ear, tickling the sensitive skin of his neck. The fingers were wrapped around his upper arms tight enough to leave marks or bruise. Tim was in a trance; everything around him happening so quickly; one moment he was standing opposite his Boss, the next he was in his arms feeling his skin being kissed by Gibbs… by a man.

He pushed him away, taking as many steps away from the familiar stranger as he could.

Gibbs cursed himself inwardly for losing control so easily, as he took in Tim's appearance. His breathing was haggard and his eyes wild.

'McGee..' He started but was cut off.

'You're… gay?' Gibbs' smile was almost comical.

'What do you think?'

'You're not!'

'I'm not!'

'…and still, you're not 100 percent ladies' man either.' There was a look on Gibbs' face Tim couldn't understand. 'Then why?'

'It's _**not**__ wrong,_ McGee!'

'It is. It is, it is! It just is! It's against…' he searched for the right word. '…humanity!'

'Why?'

'Two men can't have children.'

'Correct. But there are men and women who can't have children either McGee. Don't they deserve to be loved?'

'It's not the same…'

'Why not?'

'Love… I've got to go.' Gibbs made a move to stop him and then changed his mind. He had created enough damage for one day.

Regardless of what Tim thought about him that moment, Gibbs followed him with his car until the younger man returned home after hours of driving. Gibbs remained in his car down on Tim's street for half an hour more making sure Tim had come home to stay. Certain his agent was safe at home he returned home to think about that night's revelations.

Banging the door behind him he marched to the liquor cabinet to grab a bottle of bourbon and a glass before heading down to his basement. Taking a long sip of bourbon he tried to think how long he wanted McGee. The younger, rounder face of Tim's as it was when he had first met him in Norfolk came to mind and he forcefully pushed it away. Back then McGee was only a kid dressed in his father's suit!

The thinner, tired face, same and so different in many ways the first time he saw it after his coming back from his four month stint in Mexico. The amber liquid burnt his tongue and throat just like memories of long haired Tim on top of Chimera made his body awake and react.

He wanted a man who thought it was wrong to be wanted by another man.

After all wasn't that just his luck?

_Hit: wrong._

_Tears wetting face: wrong_

_The sound of leather beating flesh: wrong_

_I didn't mean it: wrong_

_I didn't know: wrong_

_Dad, please: wrong._

_Two men kissing: wrong._

_It wasn't me: wrong._

_Pain and tears, hoarse voice truths and lies: wrong._

_Gibbs, eyes, lips touch: wrong.  
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His body had needs. His heart had even more. Both were thirsty for intimacy and feelings.

_His lips on his skin caused shivers down his spine. Blue eyes filled with passion._

Wrong!

Tim woke up from and because of his dream, glanced at his digital clock on his bedside table and tried to move. His whole body ached. When he had lain down earlier that day he thought sleep would avoid him. He had been wrong. As he tried to move the dull pain became sharper, unbearable and the dreams that haunted his sleep clearer.

He had never before been attracted to a man. He had never before wanted his father's words to be wrong. He gingerly got up and slowly went to the kitchen. He took a small bottle of water from his fridge and returned to his small empty bedroom. The medicine was next to his clock. He sat down and gulped two pills with the help of the water.

TV shows made it look easy to gulp pills dry. Tim knew it wasn't. He remembered that time when he was eleven and his cousin Fred had come for a visit. Fred was sixteen and had taken over Tim's room while he was transported to the living room's sofa. Fred had stayed with them for six days. The day after his departure, Tim had found a video tape under his desk.

He had gone to the living room and turned the vcr on. What he saw shocked him, leaving him speechless but before he got the time to turn it off someone else did it for him.

_His father's blazing eyes were scary._

_'Where did you find this?'_

_He wanted to say it wasn't his; he wanted to say he hadn't even liked it…. But he was too shocked and too scared. Adult films were not allowed in his house, and really he was too young to even really understand. Gay adult films were an alien concept for eleven year old Timothy McGee._

_Two hours later his Mother, Margaret gave him a pain killer which he tried to swallow. It stopped in his throat making him choke and gag, bruising his insides. His mother held a glass of water close to his lips. Between pain, tears, hurt, embarrassment and snot he murmured._

_'It wasn't mine. It was Fred's.'_

_His Mother didn't say anything as she kissed his hair and got up._

_'Your Father is right, Tim. It is wrong!'_

_He was in pain that whole day and night and the entire week that came afterwards…_

Pain killers didn't always help. Tim knew that very well as he felt the route the cold water followed to his stomach. He laid down on the bed pulling the soft blankets over his lower body and closed his eyes, trying in vain to halt the thoughts that were going round and round his overactive mind.

If his dad was right, then Gibbs was wrong. And really, it wouldn't be the first time. He moved his body lower in the bed and rejoiced in the feeling that stretching out completely always gave him.

Tim was tired; tired of being alone.

He needed proof; he needed evidence. That his father was right! Gibbs had to be wrong this once; didn't he?

He closed his eyes again; the medicine kicking in and finally he slept.

The next day was not a good one for the healthy members of Gibbs' team.

'What's wrong with the Boss?' Tony asked rhetorically. He and Ziva had found refuge for a while in Abby's lab.

'He's missing Timmy!' Abby said playfully trying to lighten the mood. The look she got from Tony was not the one she had been aiming for.

Jimmy came in to bring her a bottle with a victim's stomach's contents and found them all gathered there. He handed Abby the evidence and looked at the others.

'What are you doing here? Agent Gibbs just left the Autopsy. Did anything happen?' Jimmy was never really at ease with the rest of them but this time he seemed interested in what they were doing. But no one answered him. 'Is Agent McGee alright?'

'Yes. Timmy's fine.' The uncomfortable feeling that had filled him while waiting for an answer was instantly gone when he heard Abby's reply.

'Okay…' he said with a smile. 'Because he wasn't there yesterday evening when I went to see him... And he isn't returning my calls.'

'Why did you go to see McGee?' Tony asked.

'I was worried. I didn't know his injuries were so bad that he had to take extra time off."

'And since when are you such good friends with McGee?' As always no one had noticed Gibbs coming in. Jimmy lost all colour hearing the familiar voice. The team leader was amused every time he left the young men speechless and spluttering. Someone would think that after all these years some of the initial fear would have disappeared. But Palmer, just like McGee, kept proving that thought wrong.

'Agent Gibbs… well, Tim… um McGee and I, we… I mean …' Jimmy seemed to be looking for the right words, everyone watching him intently.

'There you are Mr Palmer. I've been looking for you all over the building.' Ducky's obvious exaggeration earned him a thankful smile from the younger doctor. Ducky cocked his head smiling as well and then he turned his attention to Gibbs.

'May I have a word with you Jethro?' Before leaving the lab, he glanced reassuringly at his assistant. Walking next to his friend, Ducky wondered what he should say.

'I just left you in the Autopsy, Duck. I can't imagine you discovered anything interesting…'

'Do you enjoy scaring people Jethro? Are you getting a kick out of it?' Dark blue eyes turned to look at him, but Ducky didn't give up.

'I don't like being in the dark when one of my men is concerned, Ducky. Palmer there knows something and apparently so do you.'

'Yes, he does know. Mr Palmer and Timothy came closer when they realised they had something in common, shared the same experiences, shall we say. Even if they both try to deny…'

'What experiences?'

'It's not my place to say. And neither is Jimmy's. Leave him out of this.'

Gibbs nodded. He was going to find the root of the problem by going to the source; by approaching Tim.

When Ducky returned to the Autopsy, Jimmy was sitting on a chair staring at the wall. It was really disconcerting seeing the young man like that. Ducky went to him and rubbed his shoulder gently.

'No matter how old we get, no matter what we do, it doesn't go away, does it?' Jimmy whispered.

'You can move forward from the child and become a better adult. Or get lost in the bad memories.'

'What will Tim do?' Hazel green eyes stared at blue ones needing an answer.

'I don't know, Mr… Jimmy.'

'Will Agent Gibbs help?'

'He will either help or create a bigger rift. Time will tell.' Ducky didn't elaborate. Just as he had kept the two young men's secrets, he could keep the emotion he had seen in Gibbs' eyes to himself. He only wondered if Jethro really understood the depth of it.


	4. Chapter 4

Tim was awakened by a knock on his door. He checked the clock. It was late evening. Again! The medicine had made him lose the track of time. He still felt tired and disoriented; his whole body was a dull, aching, mass of pain.

The knock again! This time louder. Who could it be?

He slowly got up and walked to the door concentrating on his feet in their white socks as they connected solidly with the floor. The only light in his home was coming from the setting sun. He opened the door to come face to face with his Boss.

'Boss?'

'McGee!' Gibbs said and pushed him back inside the room taking in the exhausted figure in front of him. He looked worse than the day before. He followed him in, closed and locked the door behind him under Tim's watchful eyes.

'What are you doing here?' His host's voice was quiet and not really welcoming.

'We need to talk.'

'You keep saying…' Gibbs followed Tim in the kitchen where the younger man started a new pot of coffee, and sat on a chair watching his agent's measured moves.

Tim made Gibbs a cup of coffee and left it in front of him. He went to the fridge and took out a carton of orange juice while the older man tasted his coffee.

'Too strong McGee…' He interrupted the bizarre quietness. 'You're not having coffee?'

'Vad reaction with the meds… sorry, bad! No coffee for me for a couple of days.' He said leaning on the counter.

The green eyes looked huge and luminous on the pale face, but there were lines around them and around the mouth. Lines were drawn by pain on the smooth skin that his fingers longed to touch.

'Palmer was asking about you at work. He said you weren't answering his calls.' Tim pushed himself away from the counter and looked for his cell phone in his jacket's pocket that was draped over the chair opposite of Gibbs.

'I didn't hear it…' He said as he quickly typed a message to his friend and smiled at the instant reply.

'What do Ducky and Palmer know that I don't, Tim?' It seemed that every time Gibbs wanted to manipulate him into doing something he didn't really want he used his given name. The younger man didn't look at him though, he kept staring at the window to the left of Gibbs.

'Do you know what Clark called me when he kicked me?' Gibbs was not surprised to not get an answer. However he was worried about Tim's detached look and voice.

'No.' He said although it was not necessary.

'He called me a fag love. My father used to say that for some men that were... not really decent. In modern English means the totally hot girl that only goes with homosexuals but I doubt if either of them meant it like that…'

'Do you know that Juliard and his friends sexually abused the victims?'

Finally that green made eye contact with him.

'You hadn't said.'

'Abby had the evidence, she didn't find DNA or any other lead so there was no reason to say it.'

'You kept it a secret.' The eyes narrowed and became accusing.

'I didn't say it to you. You seemed off.'

'You made me watch those tapes but you didn't want to tell me…?' Tim was walking back and forth irritated, his arms wrapped around himself.

'What is it that you're hiding from me, McGee? What is it that Ducky knows…and Palmer knows, but I don't!'

Tim slid down on the floor supporting his back on the wall, arms tightly holding his knees.

'Sex is necessary to create life, a family. It is undignified and indecent out of marriage and sinful between members of the same sex.' Even if Gibbs could agree with the last part, he would still vehemently disagree on the first. As things were he disagreed on both.

He sat down next to Tim, his coffee on the floor beside him as he wondered when was the last time his throat felt so constricted he couldn't swallow.

'Tim? Who told you that?' He asked already afraid of knowing the answer.

'Father…' A hand crept on top of Tim's and despite the young man's flinch, it remained there.

'What did he do?'

'He made sure I knew what the right thing to do was.' Tim evaded answering,

'What did he do?' Gibbs repeated, teeth clenched and anger rising as he waited for the answer to come.

'What every good Father has to do to make sure his kids…' Gibbs squatted down in front of Tim and gently cupped the young man's face with both hands mindful of the bruising.

'Did he hit you?'

'My Dad was in the Navy. He said that homosexuals…' and Tim's face wrinkled at the word or the memory showing that the older McGee hadn't used that word exactly.

'…that these people could not fight, should not be trusted.' Once again Tim hadn't answered him and Gibbs needed to hear it as much as he knew Tim needed to say it. He caressed the high cheekbones with his thumbs.

'Tim, open your eyes and tell me. Did your father hit you because you were attracted to men?' Tim's eyes opened wide and tried to pull away but Gibbs was in front of him and the wall behind him and… he was trapped.

'No, no! He didn't… I didn't. I'm not attracted to men, Father only did the best for me. A gentleman, a real man never… never…' Tim felt so frail under his hands and not because he was weak. The hardened, seasoned Agent Gibbs trusted with his life had disappeared and in his place he had to comfort a wounded boy. Same experiences, Ducky had said… and Gibbs wanted to yell.

'Tim did your father hit you?' And the young man was hyperventilating.

'Yes, he did, but only because he wanted me to be a good man, an honest man.' Tim finally broke and sobs made his body spasm while Gibbs held him and pulled the taller man against his chest wrapping his arms around him.

'He hit me and… and I didn't know why,,' Tim finally hiccupped.

'How many times?' The older man asked quietly close to Tim's ear.

'I… I don't know. I don't remember.' Gibbs turned them around and rearranged them so his back was against the wall and Tim cradled in his arms. The sudden urge to kill the senior McGee for doing this to his son accompanied his prickling eyes. Teary green eyes looked at him.

'Dating Abby was against what I was taught. But I did it because I… I loved her and I thought one day we'd get married, you know? Have a family! So it wasn't wrong. But it didn't happen like that and when it ended I felt his words must be truer than ever. He was right. And I felt dirty'

This wasn't the time for any great revelations to be given to the young man in front of him; revelations about pleasure and sharing it with another person.

'How did Ducky find about it?' Tim looked down, at Gibbs chest as the older man pulled him closer again.

'He saw the scars.' Gibbs had to lean even closer to listen to the quiet uttered words and when they registered his blood turned cold and then boiled.

'His beating left scars.' It was a statement not a question.

'He got carried away once. Once… but he was right.'

'What do you mean, Tim?'

'About gays. In his last mission he got almost killed because two men were… you know… it is wrong Boss.' Pleading eyes looked at him believing that now Gibbs knew he would agree with him. When lips touched him in a soft kiss, he knew he was wrong. He knew nothing!

Gibbs didn't have the strength to resist. Sitting there, with the handsome, broken man in his arms, the green eyes looking at him waiting anxiously his words of wisdom, he did what he felt natural. The only thing that felt natural. He leaned over and kissed Tim.

Hands pushed him and pinned him against the wall.

'Stop it!'

'Your father was wrong Tim.'

'No, no!' He tried to get up but his Boss grabbed and held him close.

'Did it feel wrong? Did it… did I disgust you? Tell me Tim!'

'I… I don't know.' Tim's broken, whispered words took Gibbs' breath away.

'I… I don't know.' Tim's broken, whispered words took Gibbs' breath away. Gibbs took a step back and watched, _**really**_ watched his agent. Tim stood in the middle of his living room his hands were shaking, his whole body was shaking dark circles under his eyes, bruises still livid on his cheeks and he could only imagine about the bruises on the young man's body.

He made a move to go closer to Tim and saw him shrinking into himself. He was almost cringing in fear and uncertainty and Gibbs' heart broke at the sight.

'Easy, Tim, easy…' He stood in front of him, so close he could inhale the fresh fragrance that no man who had been sleeping should smell like. He leaned forward and hugged him, nothing sexual in the gesture. 'You need to realise on your own what is wrong and what is right; and know who to blame.' Tim's arms remained stiff against his sides. With a final chaste kiss on the lips Gibbs moved away from the taller man.

Tim wanted to ask him to stay, if only for the reason of not being alone. He didn't. He needed to think more than he wanted to not be alone.

Gibbs walked fast to his car and before going in he hit the unforgiving metal with his fist. When had things gotten so mixed up?


	5. Chapter 5

Gibbs pounded his fist once more on the hood of the car. He's frustrated by this turn of events, by the fact that it took this long for him to see past the shell that Tim erected to the broken man within. Why was it that he could read every other person on his team like an open book and he couldn't read the one person he wanted to the most?

Soft, hesitant footfalls had him spinning around and he saw the object of his thoughts stumbling towards him. He darted forward, catching the feverish Tim in his arms as the younger man started babbling. "I need evidence. I need proof that Father was wrong."

Gibbs had an idea about what Tim might mean and it would have been so damn easy to give in, to take, not caring about the consequences. Yet he couldn't do it just because Tim needed evidence to prove his father was wrong.

"Come on, let's get you inside." Glassy, green eyes stared at him as if not recognizing him. It took him more time that he'd think possible getting Tim back inside and lying down, considering how thin the younger man has become but there was enough strength behind the frail-looking body that Tim tried to fight against him; or was it against the terrors that lurked inside that brilliant mind? As soon as he had Tim settled on his bed, he speed dialled Ducky.

"Am I interrupting anything, Duck?... No I'm at Tim's and he's not looking good." He put his palm on Tim's forehead checking his temperature. 'He's really hot Ducky. And by that I mean he's feverish.' He heard his friend's chuckle but wasn't in the mood. Ducky reassured him he was on his way and instructed him on how to deal with the situation until he got there.

After a few more seconds of listening to the friendly advice of the older man, Gibbs hung up and went into Tim's bathroom bringing out a lukewarm washcloth to bathe the younger man's face and neck. Gibbs winced in sympathy as he ran the cloth over Tim's bruises not knowing that the young man's eyes had opened and misconstrued Gibbs' reaction. It was enough to bring back the memories that Tim had tried to hide from the older man all these years.

Ducky came an hour after Gibbs' call. His first job was to check Tim, examine his vitals and give Gibbs a new prescription of medicine.

"Jethro, will you go and get these for Timothy? What happened here was an intense, bad reaction to the medicine he was taking."

"Will you…?" Gibbs stopped mid sentence but his friend knew what he wanted to ask.

"Yes, of course. I'll stay until you come back. It will do no good to let Timothy be alone right now."

About an hour later, Gibbs and Ducky were sitting in the small kitchen while Tim was peacefully sleeping.

"You should have told me, Ducky." There was a slight accusatory tone in the clear words, but Ducky was not ready to take responsibility.

"Jethro, you know I couldn't betray Timothy's trust. And even if I could do that, I had given an oath a long time ago…" He said looking sharply at the younger man hinting about Gibbs' own fault at the situation, but not really saying knowing the time and place was wrong for that kind of accusation. "And, truly, I had thought that you might have realised it on your own."

"Well, I didn't! Everything was brought up because of the case!" Frustrated, Gibbs tightened his hold on the cup filled by cold coffee.

"We can only hope that things will change."

"Not anytime soon, Ducky. I've seen people like McGee's Dad in almost every place I've been. Imagine what he might have done to any of his subordinates, if he did this to his own child… when Tim had no idea about his sexuality." Gibbs drew a deep breath in and coughed. Ducky couldn't remember the last time that his friend was so talkative.

"Scary as it may be, Commander McGee did a lot more damage in our Timothy than those scars…" Ducky said thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?" Instead of answering Ducky had a question of his own.

"What were you doing here, Jethro, when you called me? I presume it wasn't a social visit." Gibbs looked away.

"I had to reach to the bottom of this." Gibbs said evading answering as well.

"And did you?"

"I think so, yes!" Ducky resisted rolling his eyes. Gibbs was back to monosyllables again.

"And? What's next?" After all, two could play the game.

"I don't know, Ducky." Gibbs got up from his chair walking back and forth and Ducky knew he wasn't going to get anything else from the senior agent. So he got up and put on his jacket. He went to check Tim and when he was certain the young man was soundly asleep, he prepared to leave.

"One advice Jethro, as your friend and Timothy's. Stop this, whatever it is. You're the only one who knows what it is either way…" At Gibbs narrowed eyes he added. "Unless, you're one hundred per cent certain sure that what you want is what Timothy wants too, stop it! You'll do no good!"

"I don't get you, Ducky." Ducky put his hand on Gibbs' shoulder and squeezed lightly.

"Yes you do! Think of Timothy and Abigail and you'll understand. Good night."

Time passed though and as Gibbs sat on the couch, towel in his hands, coffee on the small table in front of him, he still didn't know what Ducky meant.

*

_The older man got up, but stood firm, leaning on the wall, away from Tim, only a couple of steps from temptation._

_"You do know, Tim."_

_"It's against…" Hearing that made his blood ran cold and hot. He couldn't stand seeing the shuttered green eyes not daring looking at him. He didn't want to resist any longer to the pull and moved to Tim fast, turned him around and pinned him on the wall pushing his leg between Tim's._

_"Don't tell me it's against whatever you were taught to think, McGee!" Tim stopped, but Gibbs knew his fuzzy mind and aching body couldn't assist him. Once again, he was proven wrong._

_"OK, then. It's against your own rule. Your rules, Boss!" Tim's voice held an edge he had only heard a couple of times before. Gibbs leaned in and buried his face in Tim's neck, breathing in the fresh scent. He turned his face a little to the left and lips met lips…  
><em>  
>Gibbs sat up. He blinked trying to push the dream away. He sighed and got up from the couch –a new addition in the young man's apartment- where he had been sleeping the thrill of the dream still running in his veins. He stretched and got up; the towel that he had been holding fell down. He crouched and let it fall on the couch. It still held Tim's fragrance from earlier.<p>

His thoughts wandered back in the events of the day as he prepared yet another pot of coffee. It was stronger than the previous one. Gibbs paced around the small apartment seeing every little thing that made Timothy McGee the complex man that he was. The books were categorised in a way Gibbs could not understand, certainly not by title, cds were alphabetised by singer or group, vinyl records the same… the music albums' cataloguing was so similar to Shannon's, before Kelly. He smiled at the memory. Every time he was coming home he used to find it a bit messier than the last one until Kelly was old enough to pick up after herself. Strangely enough the memories didn't hurt as much as they used to.

His eyes were once again drawn to the towel on the couch and he leaned to pick it up. The subtle scent that over the years he had learnt to recognise as Tim invaded his sense of smell yet again. Maybe the towel was the reason for the strange dream. Tim's scent, Tim's apartment…

Timothy McGee, son of a retired Naval Officer whose parental methods were left open for future examination.

Tim McGee, one of the most intelligent men Gibbs had ever met.

… the best Probie, real Probie, he ever trained.

... the broken soul he had seen hours ago.

… an enigma he wanted to solve.

But he wasn't given the chance. Not right away.

Tim got better slowly but steadily and got back to work seemingly having forgotten what had transpired between himself and his boss driving Gibbs nuts in the meantime.

It was later, much later. Many cases have come and gone after that. They were all hurt one way or another. Ziva was not certain about her relationship with Tony, Tony wanted but sometimes couldn't give her what she needed and Abby…Abby was Abby! The, sometimes, bright light in an otherwise gloomy world of blood and crime keeping them sane –or insane- during hard times. Ducky and Jimmy were always there, even when Tim didn't really want them to help. After all there was nothing they could do.

It was the day of the trial. Jonathan Juliard, Jasmine Clarks and her brother Ronald were found guilty of man slaughter and Gibbs found himself face to face with Tim at his front door.

There it was again. That strange glint in Tim's eyes like that night.

"I need…" Tim said quietly once again. It was like déjà vu.

"What do you need?" Gibbs asked ushering Tim inside and making him sit.

"Proof. I need proof."

This time Gibbs was ready to give Tim anything he needed. The young man was distraught but not sick. There was no taking advantage of anything now. He crouched down in front of Tim without second thought.

"Let me take care of you." His hands cupped Tim's cheeks gently, his thumbs caressing the high cheekbones while Tim's eyes were screaming of wariness, pain, fear and maybe a bit of hope too. "What do you hope for Tim?"

"Nothing!"

"Don't lie to me. Never lie to me." Gibbs leaned in and rested his forehead on Tim's, raising both of them, his hands wrapped around the younger man's waist. Tim's body was stiff.

"I don't lie…" Bottom lip was chewed by teeth and Gibbs wanted so much to stop that abuse with his mouth or… but Tim was talking and it would be rude to not listen to him. "Besides, you're the last to talk."

"I don't lie, McGee. I don't go out with the intent to lie. I may hide the truth, but I don't lie."

"Why are you doing this?"

"This?"

"Holding me? Breaking your own rules, trying to…?" Tim couldn't find the right word or he was just afraid of saying it. Saying it would make it somehow real. He was breaking rules too after all.

"Trying to coax you to be yourself?" A negative shake of the head and Gibbs tried again. "To show you what is to feel?" Another one.

"You don't know what you want to do, Boss." The arms tightened around the waist

"But I do Tim." Tim looked up at him wondering what Gibbs knew, and what on earth was he doing there? "I was to take you to bed and show you what pleasure is."

"That's all?" Tim's question confused Gibbs.

"What do you mean, McGee?" the younger man blushed. It was exactly like those authors write it but you've never seen it on anyone. Gibbs was attracted to the sight.

"If you want to show me, as you put it, 'pleasure' then my Da… he was right. This is wrong and I shouldn't have come." His fear and confusion were bigger than his attraction to the older man. Tim brought his hands up, placed them on Gibbs' arms and pulled them away from his body. "And I have to go."

"I don't get it, McGee. You came here looking for proof… after all this time of pretending you came here to see me! To give you evidence, proof and now what? Backing off?"

"Yes! Evidence! That it is not wrong. That what I feel is right, that what I want is right… but just because you've done it or because is pleasurable doesn't make it right, Boss." Gibbs narrowed his eyes. Tim couldn't be asking for vows of undying love, could he?

"Are you telling me you never had sex with a woman just because your body craved it, McGee? Because you wanted her and she wanted you?" The answer was surprising to say the least.

"No!"

"How about Abby?"

"I… I loved Abby and I thought she loved me too."

"What did you think was going to happen here tonight, Mc.. Tim?"

"I hoped that you, we could prove him wrong. Unfortunately you proved him right."

Before Tim could open the door and slip right through Gibbs' fingers like ocean's spray, the older man had reached to him and hugged him from behind his hands caressing Tim's chest from above the shirt and t shirt. Gibbs' breath both tickled and burned Tim's neck, and then thin lips kissed the smooth skin. Tim relaxed and the older man became bolder, his fingers travelling lower on Tim's body.

"Please, stop!"

"Don't let your Father rule your life." Tim turned around in his arms and Gibbs saw a wild, pain-filled pair of green eyes. Maybe it was too late to change Tim's views.

"You have the power to hurt me more than he ever did."


	6. Chapter 6

It was shocking to hear these words, but McGee was staring down at him defiantly with a resolve that was rarely seen. Gibbs couldn't reconcile the hurt he saw in Tim's eyes and with the distance that the younger man was putting between the two of them at that moment, he was sure that there was a world of fear there.

"I have the power to hurt you more." He knew he did. Gibbs hurt everyone that dared to get close to him and there was an explanation; whether or not anyone else accepted it was another story. No one could take Shannon and Kelly's place in his life and when it came down to raw facts, it was always as easy as that. The void that they had left was immense and even now, all these years later, Gibbs still felt the pain. He and Tim did not want the same thing out of life because Tim needed stability and Gibbs needed someone to know he cared. Up to that, there were no strings attached.

"You're right." McGee pulled away from the door but didn't leave. He also didn't stray far from it as he stood there running his fingers through his hair whilst sighing. "You wouldn't be the first person to hurt me."

Gibbs frowned heavily and sighed. "Who?"

"Does it matter? I mean, why do you really care?"

The frown turned into a patented glare as the Team leader lurched forward and gave his younger agent a head slap. "I care! Don't you ever think otherwise, McGee. You got that?"

Tim rubbed his head and shied away. "Got it."

"Who?" the demand shook Tim and he knew right then, that there was no way he was getting out of telling his story.

_Flashback..._

_Eight year old Timothy McGee was running home with such an urgency, that he barely felt the pavement under his feet. Once he neared his house, he leaned on the fence breathless and tried to control his harsh breathing. Once his breathing slowed, he hurried down the fence and let his eyes look for his Mom. His feet slowed down when he realized that he was now on safe territory and sighed with relief when he finally found her gardening in the back yard. He stood there to watch her for a while and was mesmerized by her slender arms weeding out the tidy flowerbeds that she loved so much. His Mother was always perfectly organized; every little thing she felt she needed was by her side, ready to use.. Tim found that a hard contrast with his Father who every time he was doing any housework, he needed one or two acolytes to fetch him tools. Tim didn't want to be at home when his Dad was doing anything, even if was something as simple as fixing a lamp._

_"Tim what are you doing here? I thought you had gone to play with Robert." Tim pulled himself out of his thoughts and looked at her for a minute before stammering nervously._

_"I'm…I…"Even though he had been staring at her for a whole minute. His mother stopped what she was doing and stood up._

_"What is it Tim. What's wrong."_

_Tim sighed and slumped against the fencing. "Mom. Don't shout at me. Please?"_

_"What for? What have you done that would make me shout?" Tim hated that. He hated the way his mother was always so calm and collected in the face of something he'd done._

_"I saw…Mom, I saw two boys k…ki…."_

_"Breath Timothy. Okay, start again. What did you see?"_

_"Two boys were kissing." He hurried out. "Is that wrong?"_

_His mother sighed heavily and moved to open the gate. "Come on in." He did as he was told and walked with his mother to the steps leading up to the house. "Okay. What you saw was very wrong Tim. You know that already! Boys are not supposed to be with boys."_

_"But…but…"_

_"Your mother's right, Timothy. Those boys were wrong and indecent and one way or another will pay for it. Their actions will never been forgiven." Tim's eyes widened in fear when he heard his Father's voice behind him. He knew what the tone meant and stood up to follow him into the house. Once they were in the living room, Tim couldn't help but whimper slightly when he saw his Dad taking off his belt. He backed away, but was stopped by his mother standing in the doorway. Turning, he searched his Mother's eyes silently asking her what he did wrong to deserve to be punished._

_Later that night, as he lay in bed alone and in pain, he remembered his father's words and knew that it was wrong...He was wrong, for questioning whether or not it was. Right now, the physical and emotional pain reminded him that kissing a boy could never be right and no matter what, it would never be accepted._

_Unfortunately for Tim, those sessions with his Father carried on until the older McGee left on a mission and for some reason, the older man still wasn't convinced that his Lesson had been learned; though Tim knew otherwise. The mental and physical scars that had been left served as a stark reminder and every time he thought back to them, he could hear the words swirl through his mind, reminding him of the morals that his father expected him to have._

_Boys don't kiss boys. It's wrong._

_Even though he had thought it was sweet and it didn't bother him._

_They. Don't. Kiss!_

_Present time..._

Tim looked up at Gibbs after finishing his story and shook his head. The memories of the beatings stung still and even now, he could feel every lash sting his skin. It was a hard lesson to have beaten into you, and right now Gibbs was telling him otherwise.

"And now you're telling me that he was wrong...that SHE was wrong." He looked away again and tried to get his emotions in check. Gibbs wondered why and was about to ask when Tim whispered. "My body is telling me they were wrong...but...but it won't be the first time my body's lied to me. Sin's of the flesh. That's what he called it. I can't stop it though. I just can't..."

"What do you mean?" Gibbs wasn't sure he wanted to know but couldn't leave Tim like this.

"It was my second year in MIT." Tim took a deep breath to steady himself and continued. "I went home for Christmas and..." With a sigh, he turned and walked towards the couch before sitting down heavily. "I couldn't believe my eyes."

"What had happened, McGee?" Gibbs followed and sat next to his agent.

"Sarah kept saying she was doing nothing wrong and she felt fine. Dad was arguing with her about something or other and all Sarah could say was that it was her life and she could do whatever she wanted. She was thirteen years old and at that age, she didn't listen to anything that she was told. All she could say, was that Dad didn't know anything. You know what the real kicker with that was?"

For the first time Tim laughed. It wasn't a mirthful or warm laugh though, it was cold and calculating. "In the end, Dad was right."

"What was wrong with Sarah?" Gibbs kept his voice low and soft so as not to upset Tim. The last thing he wanted was to spook the kid now that he was finally opening up to him.

"She wasn't eating and kept claiming that she couldn't eat. I believed her you know? She was my sister and I trusted her to come to me. She said she was fine, but that didn't mean she was right. No, Dad was right. One day, after the break, she collapsed in class and my parents were called in to come and get her. Her teacher thought she was under the weather, but Mom and Dad were really worried so they took her to the hospital. She lost the rest of the year because of some eating disorder that she denied and my father saw... Do you see now, Gibbs? See thought she was right. Her body and mind were telling her not to eat while Dad and Mom were persistently trying to get her to ask for help. In the end, they were right and she was wrong! This? This is the same thing!"

Gibbs stood up before sinking to his knees in front of Tim and grabbing his upper arms. Tim struggled briefly, but soon found himself being pulled in close into an unwanted hug.

"Hey! Quit struggling." He waited until Tim became limp and accepted the hug before carrying on. "It's not the same thing, Tim. Sarah was hurting herself. She was putting her health at risk and she could have died because of that. Loving someone is not wrong."

"I'm not saying loving someone is wrong, I'm saying having sex with someone you don't love is wrong. I'm saying two people of the same sex having carnal relations is wrong. It hurts the body and the soul." For a split second, Gibbs felt as though he was a guest star in the twilight zone. What year was this again? He could see the anguish on Tim's expressive face, thankful for the fact that he could always read his feelings. At the same time he was at a loss for words and had no idea how to respond.

"What if two men or two women love each other?"

"Huh?" Tim didn't fully understand the question; or at least, it surprised him and short circuited his brain momentarily.

"What if...?"

"I heard you. It's not... I... I don't think they can. It's only sex." Tim said resolutely. In Tim's mind, after years of brainwashing, having just sex was dirty unless it was with your spouse. Didn't the bible preach the wrongness of homosexuality? Wasn't it against every moral fibre that society expected them to live by? Tim stood up and started pacing.

"My Dad told us that it was wrong, therefore it was. You didn't have sex before marriage and you sure as hell didn't sleep with someone of the same sex. Don't you get it? I can't...Gibbs, I have the scars to remind me that it's wrong."

Gibbs took him by the arm and made him sit back down. He wasn't going to convince Tim about what was right and deep down he knew that all people had their own ideals. That was fine, just as long as no one was trying to force theirs on others. Tim was force fed someone else's beliefs though and the fact that he couldn't see that his father was making him see things his way, irked him beyond all belief. He crouched down in front of him again and stopped Tim when he tried to get up.

"Damn it McGee! Stay! What's wrong with you?"

"It's not right!" Tim shouted, knowing that if his father saw him with a man kneeing in front of him, he would no doubt feel the sting of leather on his back. "You shouldn't be kneeling there in front of me like that. It's..."

"Okay. You listen to me, and you listen good. I don't like the values that he's beaten into you, but I know it's gonna take time. This is fine. Me kneeling here, is fine."

"It's...I've gotta go. I need to think." Tim said shakily and stood up. He was making his way to the door when Gibbs voice stopped him.

"Stay." He had to get to know the real Tim McGee. Not his tech, not his agent, but the man behind the titles and computers. He saw the hesitation in Tim's stance and decided that it was time for new tactics. "I need you help." Tim turned and narrowed his eyes.

"What for?"

"It's time I finally join the twenty first century. I want to buy a computer and need you to make the... stuff ready."

"Stuff?"

"Yea, you know." Gibbs made a vague gesture around the room and Tim stifled a laugh.

"When?"

"Let's go shopping." If Tim was surprised at the sudden change of topic he didn't show it because right now, they were finally treading in safe waters.  
><em><br>A few days later..._

"Can you give me that wire over there?" Tim asked Gibbs and stretched his long arm out to indicate which wire he needed. Gibbs handed him what he needed and sat back down at the back to watch Tim work efficiently. He truly was in his comfort zone doing what he did best. Gibbs had finally managed to calm Tim down that night as he outlined his 'plans' for a new computer system. It had worked and relaxed the younger man no end and he soon found himself watching as Tim took of his jacket, loosened his tie and tried to figure out exactly what Gibbs would need.

Of course, Tim had outlined everything perfectly down to the last cable he needed and was currently leaning over the internet router wearing nothing but a pair of black jog pants, and a loose green MIT t-shirt that showed off his body. Gibbs realized that the green, stammering boy he had taken onto his team years ago, had grown to a handsome, confident man. Stupid thought really seeing as he had seen him every day for the last seven years. He softly smiled as he thought the last couple of days.

They gone shopping at the shops that Tim went to and Gibbs felt more like an ornament than anything else because to him, Apple and Microsoft were two words he knew nothing about. Anything computerised were usually left to the experts. Tim had finally managed to get him to agree on a PC and laptop, though luckily, he had decided against introducing him to the wonders of the apple mac because Tim had reasoned out, the fact that he used windows at work.

Then they had gotten home to deposit the new equipment in the living room, since he most definitely wasn't living there. It was a good thing that it had been the weekend because it gave Tim the time to do whatever preparation was needed to set it all up. It was now noon of a rather sunny Sunday and Tim had already been there for a full three hours working on the new set up.

"Okay, you're all set. The only thing we need now is the company to approve the line and you'll have internet connection as well. As soon as that is done I'll come set up your computer and laptop." Tim said happily, pulling Gibbs away from his thoughts. He got up from the chair and stretched out the kinks in his body from being hunched over for so long. Gibbs pulled off the wall that he had been leaning against and headed into the kitchen.

"Beer?" Gibbs shouted out and paused at the open fridge waiting for a reply.

"M ummm..."

"Don't say 'no' McGee. It's not polite." Gibbs said as he walked back out of the kitchen and tossed the bottle to Tim. The younger agent caught it and held it upright to let it settle. "Come, let's go outside. I'll stoke the fire and get it ready."

"Fire?" Tim said and wiped the sweat away from his brow. Why would Gibbs need the fire stoking in this weather?

"What? You thought I'd let you go hungry?"

"No, but there's no need to..." Tim started to protest, but stopped dead at the glare Gibbs was giving him.

"Yeah? Because from what I can remember, you've given up your time to help this old dinosaur get up to date. The least I can do is make you dinner, so come on McGee."

Three hours later, Tim was sitting on Gibbs' porch drinking yet another beer and listening to the older man talking. Truth be told, he actually found himself relaxing more and more and couldn't help but wonder whether or not it was the beer making him feel that way.

"... it wasn't easy. The senior officer told us to remember the Spartans' motto." Tim cocked his head innocently as he tried to remember what it was. Gibbs laughed at the look on his face and shook his head. "iE tan e epi tas/i - ή ταν η επί τας..."

"Either with your shield or on it. I remember that. It means that either you will win the battle, or you will die fighting it. If you die, then you will be carried back home on your shield. There were no other alternatives. Those Mothers were really hard weren't they?"

"Times were different I guess." Gibbs' eyes gleamed with unshed tears as he talked about his time in the marines. It was hard for him, but Tim was thankful that he got to see this side of the boss. "Most of us survived thanks to two men who stayed back to cover our tracks. We were waiting for them on the ship but they never returned. They were both twenty four, a year older than I was at the time. We were taught never to leave a man behind, so my commanding officer deployed two men to bring them back. They came back an hour later carrying nothing but dog tags. Apparently, that was all that was left."

"Sorry." Tim said softly and when Gibbs looked over at him, his icy blue eyes met with the warm, caring eyes of his agent. Looking into those green depths, he could see all the sorry and heartache that Tim carried, not only for himself, but for the people he cared deeply for as well.

"Don't be. They gave their lives to save us and died together. We lived by the sword and we died by the sword knowing that we were damn lucky if we made it home. I made it back, but I still had problems."

"What do you mean?" Tim asked softly and Gibbs almost laughed loudly at the worry that he heard there. Trust his sensitive, caring nature to worry over something that happened years ago.

"When we came back, I stayed in the hospital for a week before the finally released me."

"How serious was your injury?"

"A through and through bullet to the shoulder. It wasn't serious, but when we came back, there was more than the physical injuries to heal. The first thing I did when I got out, was go and find their families starting with Jordan. He's the reason the bullet didn't do more damage or kill me because he pushed me away. The least I could do was honour their memories by visiting their parents and personally handing over their tags. Do you know what happened?" Gibbs asked looking deeply into Tim's eyes so that the younger man could see the genuine heartache that lay there. It wasn't often that he wore his heart on his sleeve, but with Tim, it was different and he found it easy to open up.

"What?"

"Both their parents told me they had no sons. Jordan's mother was staring out at me from behind the curtain and ran after me when her husband went into the house. She hugged me so tight and thanked me for telling her the truth. I gave her his dog tags and watched as she kissed them and hung them round her neck. I couldn't understand why a father would deny his son. Especially as the kid came home a hero."

"He didn't believe you?" Tim asked softly. Gibbs shook his head.

"He believed me. He just...when I went to the second family, James' father told me that no fag was a son of his. Jordan and James were partners and loved each other deeply according to their friends. None of us realized it at the time, but thinking back, I can see it now. They completed each other but thankfully kept their relationship private and didn't let it affect the platoon. I wish they would have made it home, they'd be happy."

"What would have happened if they'd been found out?" Tim asked, not sure as to whether he wanted to know the answer or not. Gibbs shrugged and took a swig of his beer.

"Thankfully...huh...or unfortunately depending on the way you look at it, they didn't. They would have been dismissed under Don't ask don't tell but they'd still be alive. Of course, six other marines including myself, would have been caught, tortured and then killed. But that didn't matter to those parents because they couldn't see past their own prejudices. I've never been against homosexual relationships and was majorly pissed at their reactions." Gibbs said earnestly and looked away. Tim finished his beer and got up.

"I'm sorry."

"McGee. You know how I feel about apologies." Gibbs said and smiled. "Nothing you could have done, it's just the way of the world. It's an ugly place sometimes and there's not much that we can do to change that."

Tim nodded his head in agreement. "Thanks."

"What for?"

"For giving me things to think about. For today. I dunno, just...Thanks." Tim felt himself flush slightly and leaned over to take Gibbs' empty beer bottle. "I have to go. My boss will have my hide if I turn up late for work."

Tim's cheeky smile made Gibbs laugh loudly. "You go that right. You calling a cab?"

"Yeah. Three beers'll send me over the limit." He admitted sheepishly and moved into the house to toss the empties in the trash. Gibbs followed him in and leaned on the doorframe.

"How about I pick you up in the morning and bring you back here to pick your car up."

Tim grinned and nodded his head, knowing that things were finally getting back on an even keel.

As Tim lay in bed that night, he found himself unable to sleep as Gibbs story played over and over in his mind. It was tragic and the fact that those two marines lived with parents that hated them for what they were, was completely unacceptable in lieu of what they did. It didn't matter that they were Marines fighting in a war and it didn't matter than thanks to them, lives had been saved. Gibbs' life had been saved and for that he felt truly humbled and thankful for what they did. He sighed and turned over onto his side so that he could gaze out of the window and hopefully, sort his thoughts into some kind of order that would allow him at least a few hours of rest.

Across town, Gibbs found himself in a similar situation, only this time he was kept awake by thoughts of how nice it had been to have Tim in his house. He loved the fact that they had talked so openly and that Tim had bitten the bullet and finally worked alongside him to get him up to speed with technology. The only thing that was nagging at him, was the fact that, despite breaking down the prejudiced walls that Tim's father had built up brick by brick, he still wanted Tim to be a part of his life, and he wanted nothing more than for Tim to live here permanently.

*  
><em>Two weeks later...<em>

"Catch!" Gibbs yelled and threw the soft baseball. It hit Tim on the head and he couldn't help but laugh at the indignant look on the young man's face.

"Hey!" Tim shouted back and picked up the ball.

"I was aiming for the dog."

"Well, you only missed by six feet." Tim indicated the space between him and his faithful dog and stood there glaring at Gibbs. The older man just laughed harder and soon enough, Tim found himself chuckling alongside him.

"Smartass!"

"You're supposed to be the sniper!" Tim said through his chuckles.

"Supposed to be? I am!"

"Well that throw gives me evidence to the contrary. Don't you think?" Tim replied with a wink. Gibbs growled and ran forward to try and get the ball off of Tim. The younger man was too quick though and managed to dodge his advances. "Gotta do better than that!"

"Oh I can..."

That afternoon was spent relaxing and enjoying each others company. Tim soon found that he was happy to spend his free time with the older man and after the discussion with Gibbs about the marines nothing more was said about the issue or the prejudices that surrounded it.

"Boss this is serious. You can't be with us. We need a sniper and you're the best guy for the job. You're the best shot!" Tony said as they starting pulling on the bullet proof vests that would hopefully protect them if they were shot at. Gibbs glared at his senior agent and was about to reply, but Tim beat him to the punch.

"Well then, the Boss is out of the question, Tony." He said flippantly as he stretched the strap across and fastened it down.

"What?" Tony asked and glared at his Probie. "McGee, you've lost your damn mind..."

"Woah, Tony it's nothing. I was kidding alright." Tim shot back and let his eyes slip over to Gibbs. He saw the slight quirk of the older man's lips and smiled back knowing that the private joke would leave Tony narrowing his eyes with wonder and confusion about what was going on. Truth be told, the whole team had noticed a difference, but the fact that Tim and Gibbs were getting along better than ever, made the team feel more relaxed and it was a nicer place to work.

"Yeah, good one McGoo. Come on, we've got work to do."


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm becoming a best man… well woman technically, but still. I invite you to the wedding." Abby said excitedly one day. "You will all come, won't you?" She asked pouting. "Come on, you have to, you have to! My friends don't have many friends and want to share their special day with people. I said I was going to ask my friends." Her arms flared around as she talked.

"When's the wedding, Abs?" Gibbs asked looking at her over his reading glasses.

"This Saturday. Can we all go together?" She went to Tim's desk. "Escort me, Timmy? Pretty please?" Tim's eyes flew to Gibbs, and then hastily returned to Abby. Why had he looked at Gibbs? He shook his head and smiled.

"Sure thing, Abs."

"OK all. Formal dress?" She said looking at Gibbs who rolled his eyes in exasperation as he answered his phone.

"Gibbs..we'll be there...Gear up! Dead marines in Hillsboro!"

"Hillsboro? Where is that?" Tony asked already checking a mental map.

"In north-western Virginia." Tim answered his fellow agent. "It is about 55 miles northwest of downtown DC… and do you want to guess its population?" He asked with a grin while looking at his PDA.

"Spare me, McCyclopediac!"

"Was that a three syllables plus nickname, Tony? I'm shocked!" Tim and Tony got spared the head slapping as Abby who was watching them get ready decided to interrupt.

"So I can count on you guys?"

Gibbs glared at her and beckoned his boys and girl to the elevator.

Two days later their case was solved, taking more time than they had thought possible considering that someone had to have seen something in Hillsboro. Bottom line was they had no witness and had to work with the evidence. Ducky's autopsy named the culprit just before Gibbs lost his patience, thankfully for all people considered.

On top of the case, they had Abby's pushing and probing and an altogether uncalled happiness about her friends' wedding.

That's how Gibbs' team plus Ducky and Jimmy found themselves in the strangers' wedding the following Saturday.

Tim's eyes widened as he entered the City hall's room holding the marriages. He looked around trying to find an element of weddings he always thought were the one half of the couple… and failed. He leaned over to Jimmy who was standing next to him and whispered to him.

"Where's the bride?" The medical assistant smiled to his friend trying to keep things quiet.

"I don't think there's a bride. I'm pretty certain there are two grooms though…" Jimmy said looking intently at Tim. "Are you alright?"

"I will be." Tim muttered under his breath and moved to the far end of the room never noticing Gibbs watching his every move. He watched silently as a tall man in his late thirties or early forties stood next to a man in his early fifties who was sitting in a wheelchair. Each time one man stole a glance at his partner a soft smile sweetened their faces.

When the mystery ended Abby called her friends to meet the newly married couple.

"And these are Robert and Cole. Cole was my classmate at school." Abby said about the younger of the two men.

"It was a pleasure to meet you." Gibbs said first shaking hands with both men. "Good luck to both of you."

"Thank you, Jethro." Robert said looking up at Gibbs.

"I wish you both the best not only today but in all the days to come, may your love and friendship continue to expand and grow." Ducky stood next to Gibbs and offered his hand in a heartfelt shake. Jimmy followed suit wishing the two men all the happiness in the world.

"Good luck, and remember that if you ever decide to change your minds..."

"DiNozzo…" Tony skipped to avoid the headslap but didn't stop.

"…Abby and Ziva are still unattached and looking. For that matter McPretty here is…" Now this time he didn't avoided the head slap or the glare from his Boss. Gibbs looked at Tim who had paled at Tony's implication.

Ziva was very polite and offered her sincere wishes for a happy future. Jimmy pushed Tim with his elbow when he saw him hesitating in the corner.

"Um congratulations. I hope you have a pleasant life together." Tim said never breaking eye contact with the two men. As he finished his sentence his eyes went to Gibbs and smiled.

Later that evening, after leaving Robert and Cole to get ready for their trip to Caribbean the whole team plus Ducky, Abby and Jimmy were sitting at Gibbs' porch eating pizza. Abby was retelling how the two men had met and what she knew about their relationship.

"Cole met Robert in '89. He was 21 and Robert was a Lieutenant commander and ready to conquer the world. Or so he thought. They had been together for a year and a half, no one knowing, when Robert was deployed to Kuwait. He returned but he was never the same. Cole stood by his side leaving his studies behind for a couple of years. Losing his legs wasn't the biggest problem Robert had to deal with. Some of his people were killed in the same mission under his orders. It had been hard. On both men. Robert tried to push Cole away, more times than you can think, but he stayed there offering his love and assistance. Never pity, never… well I don't know. I cannot describe it. Seeing them together reminds you what love is, I think…" Abby said drying her tears from her eyes. OK time for me to go. I've got a ticket for a concert." She said her usual exuberance returning in full force.

Ducky stood up and pulled Jimmy by the arm.

"Time for us to go... Mr. Palmer are you coming?" Jimmy looked first at Ducky and then at Tim, not knowing if it would be good to leave Tim in Gibbs' house. He had seen some heated glances earlier that day thrown at his friend who seemed oblivious. But just as he was watching Tim the man in question looked at Gibbs and his stance relaxed.

"Sure thing, Doctor Mallard." He finally said and got up just as Ziva and Tony were saying good night.

"Probie, are you coming?" Tony asked.

"No he isn't. I want him to show me something on the computer." Gibbs said hurriedly. "I must have deleted a program or something…"

"OK see you all on Monday…"

"Unless we get called in work, Tony."

"Shut up McJonah."

"Night Tony."

"Night Boss."

"Goodnight Jethro, Timothy."

Abby hugged Tim goodnight and waited for Gibbs to kiss her before leaving as well. Tim looked at the older man.

"So what is the problem?" He asked strolling to the living room taking off his suit jacket in the process.

"There's no problem." Tim swirled around and stared at him. Hard. "Do you want a beer? Sit and wait for me." Gibbs was surprised to see Tim obeying and going out again. He grabbed two beers and followed Tim's path outside.

"You were right." Tim said not turning around to see him as Gibbs sat down.

"What for?"

"About love. I saw love today. I don't know if I should feel happy or sorry for them?"

"Why?" Gibbs asked.

"Robert lost so much. Their lives would have been different if he could walk." Gibbs leaned close to him, blue eyes locked on green.

"Life moves the way it's supposed to. Maybe they wouldn't have been together at all if Robert hadn't been injured. Maybe Robert would have heard what everyone told him and found a nice girl and started a family… and then get a divorce twenty odd years later wondering where his life had gone. Or maybe he would have been happy with her. Who is to know?"

"You think he could? I mean he really loves Cole, doesn't he? I don't think he could live without him…" Tim said looking away embarrassed.

"I don't think so either." Gibbs looked up at the bright starry sky. "You were right too."

"Yea?" Interested Tim looked at him again wondering what he had understood right.

"Yea. Sex is pleasurable either way but when you have it with someone you love, it's...it's indescribable. It's earth shattering and awe-inspiring...you want it to last forever." Tim felt his face heating at Gibbs' words.

'I wouldn't know, as it seems…"

Gibbs looked at him, "As what seems?"

"Having sex with someone I love, someone that loves me…" It was so odd to talk to his Boss like this. He had never felt comfortable talking about sex with anyone, including his lovers. And now, he was opening up to Gibbs of all people. And Gibbs cared enough to listen. Warmth spread all over his body as Gibbs stood in front of him looking at him intently.

"I do care. A lot…" That coming from Gibbs was almost a declaration of love. Almost but not quite. Tim got up and Gibbs reached out, laying his hand against Tim's cheek. The younger man lowered his eyes, his whole body starting to shake.

"That's a change from the last time then…" Tim said suddenly looking straight up at Gibbs trying to overcome the fear years of abuse had left on him.

"I know you now, Tim. I'm not afraid to get to know you, to try to give you what you want, what you need…"

"The evidence?"

"Do you think you're ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

Gibbs tilted Tim's head up and ever so gently pressed his lips against his. Tim gasped and made a noise that was almost the prelude to a sob. "You say it and we stop. Any time…"

Tim didn't know how he found himself in Gibbs' bedroom sometime later. He stood frozen in the middle of the room at the sight of the bed. Gibbs came close to him carefully, not wanting to spook him. He reached out and gently ran his fingers through Tim's' hair, letting the back of his nails run along Tim's scalp.

Gibbs stepped close and kissed Tim again, still running his fingers through the short hair. After a minute he slipped his free arm around Tim's waist pulling him close. He could feel Tim tremble. Gibbs let his tongue dart out and lick at Tim's lips. Tim gasped and Gibbs took it as an opening to slide his tongue against Tim's teeth. Tim was rigid for a while before he began to kiss back.

Gibbs smiled because Tim was at least well schooled in kissing, though obviously as a prelude to marriage and 'proper' sexual relations.

Tim shut his eyes then opened them again as he felt Gibbs stop. "Don't stop…I just…I"

"Trust me Tim. I won't hurt you." Gibbs whispered.

"I…I…" Tim licked his lips and froze. He stared at Gibbs who smiled as he saw some of the evidence needed begin to fall into place.

"I…you…" Tim reached out and put a hand on Gibbs cheek. "It tasted like you."

Gibbs leaned in, and Tim caressed his neck. Gibbs sighed and nodded, "I like that, gentle caresses are essential to a good relationship. Communicating is too."

Tim chuckled and Gibbs laughed along with him, "I know not my strong point. But you get my meaning. That's part of love Tim. Being able to say no and the other person stopping when you say it. "

Tim stared at him, "Then you're not angry with me? For stopping?"

Gibbs patted the bed, and Tim gingerly sat down. Gibbs put his arm around him, "Tonight, we're not going any further. We explored, we gave you some evidence needed but now, we don't need to go any further. This is love too. Listening to each other, our wants our needs. You need to know that we don't have to go any further. If you want to then someday we can. But for now we're both tired. Get some sleep and think about what you've learned today."

Gibbs started to stand up but Tim pulled at his arm, "What is it Tim?"

"Can…can you…just hold me…for a few minutes. I…I'm afraid I might start dreaming again and I…" Tim dropped his hand and moments later felt the bed shift as Gibbs lay down beside him.

"Come here, Tim. Now, put your head on my shoulder and just close your eyes." Tim did so and Gibbs pressed a kiss to the top of his head. Tim gingerly put his hand around Gibbs waist and the older man sighed with content.

They'd crossed some hurdles they still had a long road to go, but for now the evidence needed was enough for Tim to trust Gibbs not to hurt him and to finally get that peaceful night of sleep.

Finis

**End note:**_** Special thanks to Tigyr and Shelbylou. Without their help I'd still be struggling with it.**_


End file.
